Photo courtesy of GenkiGenki on Flickr
Photo courtesy of domo arigato on Flickr
While changing after my workout at the gym today, I got to thinking. At the gym or the swimming pool, no matter where it is, the change room is an interesting place. I awkwardly tried to keep myself covered with a giant towel as I very quickly put my clothes on after emerging from the shower. I couldn’t help but notice all of the other bodies around me. The vast majority of them were gloriously imperfect, not to mention naked as jay birds. Many of the women were older than me. Some had breasts that drooped towards their waists, their nipples pointing towards the floor. Lots of them had cellulite or stretch marks or both. Why was I standing there, so ashamed of my own body, so afraid to expose myself? Why couldn’t I remove the image of what I think I should look like from my head? What did I think that these other women expected me to look like? Why did I think it mattered to them? I wondered if I could ever be fully naked in a room where nakedness is not a big deal. I wondered why I couldn’t imagine feeling comfortable showing it all off in there. Whose judgement was I afraid of, anyway? Even as a teenager, when I was changing for gym class or basketball practise, I always went into a stall, never feeling confident enough to peel my clothes off where anyone could see me. Other girls were quite content to parade around in the buff. I, on the other hand, was too shy even to stand around in my bra and underwear in front of the other girls. I’m not sure exactly what it was, or continues to be, about that situation that makes me anxious. Is it the same for guys? My buddies who play hockey have been showering together since they were little boys and seem to have no qualms about stripping down in front of their friends or other male strangers.
I can honestly say that this is the first cycle of ANTM for which I have not chosen a favourite and stuck by her for the duration. Last night, it was “go-see” time and the girls had to impress designers not only with their looks, portfolio and walk but also with their charm and personality. This proved to be quite a challenge for some of the girls. The translators tell the cabs to take the girls to their destinations, but once the girls get out of the cab, they still have to navigate themselves to the right studios. Plus, they have to be back at the agency on time.
Saleisha jumps out of the cab in the pouring rain and runs into the first designer’s studio. She doesn’t impress him; he thinks she dull. Poor Heather is lost. Chantal is scolded by one of the designers for wearing bright pink booty shorts rather than nude underwear, and her walk doesn’t impress the designer either. By the time all the other girls have completed two or three go-sees, Heather still hasn’t done her first one because she can’t find the location. When she finally finds the first designer’s studio, she is told how important it is to make eye contact, something that she struggles with. She is again awkward and obviously uncomfortable despite the fact that she has a look that the designer likes for China. After this, she heads back out, only to get lost a second time. She decides to go back to the agency so she doesn’t get disqualified, but can’t find her car. Cut to an awkward amount of footage of Heather walking around Shanghai aimlessly. Saliesha and Bianca are the only two who make it back to the agency on time, so the other girls are disqualified from the challenge. Bianca, who impressed the designers with the perfect mix of personality and beauty, is the winner.
Our favourite hunky judge, Nigel Barker is the photographer for this week’s photo shoot. The models pose in a garden with people dressed in beautiful Chinese lion and dragon costumes. This means that the models have to be on their game, they must be super fierce to stand out in the shot. Nigel tries to coach Jenah, but she gives him attitude her sarcastic attempts at humour seem to do little more than irk him.
Photo courtesy of shshawna
I’ve been hitting the gym hard this week and back at pilates, because the time has really come to whip myself into shape again. It’s funny, many people worry about “winter weight gain” over the holidays, but I have always been the opposite. I’ve always been my thinnest through the winter months and tend to gain a little over the summer. It seems that peppermint mochas and Christmas baking are easier for me to have willpower over than appies and drinks on a patio. For some reason, November hits and I’m suddenly motivated. I’ve always been like that. This year is no exception. I’m assuming that it’s as a result of tuckering myself out more than usual during the days that I have been sleeping better at night. I have battled insomnia for as long as I can remember, and this has certainly been a stressful week for me, but exercise really does work wonders to help with both of those things.
With all of this sleep, I have been having the most crazy, intense, vivid dreams. Last night, I was in Paris. Paris is a place that I have never been but have always felt a kinship with, like I did with New York before I ever visited. I’m drawn to it for so many reasons. Funny enough, I have been to France, but Paris was not on the itinerary. Have you ever heard anything more ridiculous? Watching Amélie while feasting on brie last week planted the seed again. I found myself looking up flights to Paris online. Two of my best friends are currently living in France, so I’m certain that there would be no shortage of places to stay or people to show me around should make the voyage. Perhaps a summer trip to Paris is in order. I’m sure Eddie will agree. (Who, by the way will be back in Vancouver for Christmas in exactly 16 days!) Also making an appearance in my dream last night were these beautiful Frye boots. Apparently, I’m pining after them. I better tell Santa.
This morning, I felt as though I could have stayed in bed all day. My alarm squawked seemingly louder than usual at 6am. I was so cozy, nestled beneath my covers, that the thought of emerging and facing the day seemed unfathomable. There were no excuses though, warm and snuggled as I may have been, I had to haul myself up and get into the shower. Work was calling; and it just wouldn’t shut up.
It was a beautiful drive to the office, over the Lions Gate Bridge. The North Shore mountains are glittery white, covered in fresh snow this morning. They took my breath away as I approached them. I could not be more excited about the upcoming snowboarding season and our regular trips to Grouse for night riding above the city.
At the moment, everything feels up in the air. On one level, I’m feeling more settled than I’ve ever felt in my life and on another…it’s a world of unknown. Eager to take it all on, while at the same time plagued with self doubt and grappling with anxiety, I am sitting on the edge. I am still waiting patiently for the opportunity to jump into my future. There will be no safety nets when I do, but everything inside tells me that all of my hard work, blood, sweat and tears will pay off. I hope that these things have armed me with the experience I need to excel in the next phase. The confidence will come…I hope.
Things are changing, people are leaving, opportunities are knocking.
My focus is on “positive thoughts, positive thoughts…son of a bitch.” I think that really says it all.
Photo courtesy of The Blackbird on Flickr
A city with staggering wealth and soul-crushing poverty is far from unusual in the world’s largest cities, the report notes.”What makes the Downtown Eastside so different is that it is located in one of the most prosperous cities in one of the world’s most prosperous countries.”The UN Population Fund says next year, for the first time in history, half the world’s population — 3.3 billion people — will live in urban areas. The number will swell to almost five billion by 2030.The report calls for pre-emptive action to deal with lack of housing, employment, good governance, and environmental stewardship.
This weekend was all about spending as much time as possible with Jessica before she jumps on a train to Los Angeles tomorrow morning. Saturday, it was side by side mani-pedi’s at Pure Nail Bar and then shopping for trek shoes and last minute necessities at Mountain Equipment Co-op.
After a double header of farewell parties on Friday and Saturday, last night with bellies full of spaghetti and meatballs, four exhausted girls sat inside GM Place to watch the Canucks kick some Chicago Blackhawk ass. The boys played a one-goal game down to the wire before coming out on top with a 2-0 victory over the Blackhawks, which propelled them into a tie with the Minnesota Wild at the top of their division. Luongo’s shut out earned him the first star of the game. The Canucks may have started the season with a 1-6 home record but more recently, Luongo has backstopped three straight wins for our boys at GM Place.
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On Sunday morning, I went for a long walk and ended up spending a small fortune on new cleaning products. I’m becoming so much more domestic as I get older. The Shoppers Drug Mart Life brand has launched a line of environmentally friendly cleaning products. The company touts them as being “fresh, biodegradable, non-toxic and phosphate-free.” This excited me very much so I totally stocked up. My friend Danielle’s ways have clearly rubbed off on me as I’m much more “Monica Geller” now than I ever have been before. After pilates, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom with the result being bright, sparkling, clean perfection. I am loving my new apartment so much. I actually wake up in the morning with a big grin on my face upon looking around my very own happy, little home. I couldn’t ask for a better building, friendlier neighbours or a more fabulous hood. Being a stone’s throw from the beach with a plethora of shops and restaurants to check out is more than a girl could ask for, so I thank my lucky stars every single day.
Photo courtesy of Simone Hudson on Flickr
Those who know me, know how passionate I am about this cause. Living in Vancouver, homelessness is something that I see on a daily basis, you probably do too.
Consider being homeless for a few confused, long and lonely days. Consider spending years on the streets after being kicked out of home by an abusive, alcoholic parent or after the wing you live in is shut down in the mental health care facility that you inhabit. You have nowhere to turn. Everybody has their own story, but most people don’t choose to end up on the street.
It was such a pleasure not only to catch up and reminisce about old times with Leah, but also to hear about all of the amazing work that she has been doing. Here’s a little background from the UGM website:
Union Gospel Mission is committed to caring for the hungry, hurting and homeless of Greater Vancouver through:
-Emergency meals and clothing
-Shelter for those without resources
-Proven drug and alcohol recovery
-Innovative learning center
-Community outreach to men, women, families, children and youth
-Long-term housing solutions
-Low cost Thrift Stores
-Broad-based Community volunteer opportunities
Yesterday one of my sales managers stood up in our department meeting and told us a story:
I awoke early, as I often did, just before sunrise to walk by the ocean’s edge and greet the new day. As I moved through the misty dawn, I focused on a faint, far away motion. I saw a youth, bending and reaching and flailing arms, dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day soon to begin.
As the youth explained, I surveyed the vast expanse of beach, stretching in both directions beyond my sight. Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation. The hopelessness of the youth’s plan became clear to me and I countered, “But there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up. Surely you cannot expect to make a difference.”
The youth paused briefly to consider my words, bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible. Turning to me he simply said, “I made a difference to that one.”
I left the boy and went home, deep in thought of what the boy had said. I returned to the beach and spent the rest of the day helping the boy throw starfish in to the sea.
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I’m feeling emotional today, in fact my eyes are welling up as I begin to type. It’s the end of an era, so to speak. Everything is changing and nothing feels the same.
Jessica is one of those people who lights up the room with her bright smile and positive energy. Her laugh (and trademark snort) define her spirit, which warms the hearts of those around her with kindness, compassion and integrity. She is such an absolutely beautiful soul, inside and out.
On Tuesday, Jessica is embarking upon a grand adventure; a six month long backpacking adventure beginning in Los Angeles and taking her all through South East Asia and Central America. It’s going to be an absolutely mind blowing and eye opening experience for her. I can’t even tell you how proud I am of her for following her heart, and going off to explore the world and live out her dreams. To me, her courage in doing this is such an amazing inspiration.
Last night, I went to my friend Shawna’s for a yummy tofu dinner and copious amounts of black licorice tea, plus my favourite guilty pleasure, this week’s edition of America’s Next Top Model. I have to say that I’m officially at a loss after last night’s episode. My girl Jenah did not impress me this week and I haven’t got a clue who my top choice is now. I hear that Saleisha’s still number one in a lot of viewers hearts, but not mine. To be honest, I don’t really like any of them very much at this point.
In China, the girls got a lesson on body movement by a martial arts expert and were challenged to perfect the poses while in mid-air on high wires. Bianca’s fear of heights prevented her from even participating. Later, the models had to showcase their personality in a Cover Girl commercial and photo shoot. I don’t know if the colour on Shawna’s TV was off or what, but none of them looked good to me on set for the commercial. Everybody’s hair was a weird colour and I thought the caked on makeup did very little for any of them. Most of the girls couldn’t remember their lines and generally lacked any kind of professionalism on set. Lisa and Heather were definitely the worst. Lisa’s eyes welled up with disappointment in herself throughout and she looked to be on the verge of tears during every single take. Heather, even while being fed the lines by Jay behind the camera, couldn’t muster up one usable take and continued to flub the lines and make silly faces each and every time she messed up. This was the first week that I really liked Chantal. She came across as being the most professional during the shoot and represented the Cover Girl brand the best, in my opinion.
Despite turning out a stunning photo in the post commercial shoot, Lisa was sent home. I wasn’t surprised because she hasn’t exactly been the strongest candidate. If you ask me, it could have just as easily been Heather who was sent home though. The question begged to be asked is: is there a place for models who are not able to speak on camera? What’s everybody thinking about this week’s show? Favourites still the same? Do tell! Next week should be interesting!
Photos courtesy of The CW
