Photo courtesy of Paul J Whaley on Flickr
I want more than anything to be asleep right now but I can’t get comfortable. It hurts to lay down, it hurts to stand up, it hurts to sit. I did some damage to my tail bone last weekend (long story involving me –the klutz-, snow, borrowed heels and a slippery staircase). The pain does not seem to be easing up no matter how much Advil I pop. The bruises are a hideous combination of black, blue, purple and red. So here I am, exhausted and back to my old insomniac tricks with the new years blues or some bullshit like that. I’m all emo and self loathing and woe is me. I’m all weepy and lame and lonely. I’m just not feeling good; not mentally, not physically, not emotionally. Sometimes I wish that I could run away from the thoughts in my head, but they chase me. In my dreams, they haunt me. No escape. I am so damn uncomfortable.
I keep fantasizing about staying home by myself on New Years eve, ordering takeout and falling asleep well before the stroke of twelve. In fact, I may just do that.